Assumptions, Expectations, and Progress

Life is full of assumptions and expectations, and rightly so.  If we didn’t make any assumptions, we would have to treat every person we meet like a newborn, which is effectively what happens between people who don’t speak the same language.  How we handle these awkward situations, (which is not limited to this scenario), says a lot about the character of a person.  Someone who is willing to be patient and attempt to communicate at the lowest common level shows respect for the dignity of another, and actually elevates themselves in doing so.  As everyone has different life experiences, we will all have occasion to be in either of the teacher or student roles on a regular basis. 

Conversely, when we assume and expect more of a person than they are capable of right then, that can create a situation of frustration, impatience, and eventually, anger.  That isn’t to say that we shouldn’t have expectations of improvement from others, especially those that we are responsible for.

You may be wondering what brought this on.  I was playing Yahtzee with my son the other day, (this was his choice, not mine), and he was having a hard time understanding the rules, (he’s 5).  In playing the game, there are 2 sections, an upper and a lower.  You get a bonus for each section when your score exceeds a certain minimum.  It inspired me to go and make some “Yahtzee chore charts” which had “points” for each chore done.  The top section had their regular chores, (e.g. empty dishwasher, make bed), with a bonus if they completed them all.  The lower section was more challenging, (e.g. vacuum room), that would stretch their abilities.  Both sections had a bonus.  I gave them the options to either cash in their points for candy or for nickels.  Payouts happen on Saturday, (so they can pay tithing on Sunday).  My eight year old daughter picked up on it right away and has started cashing in big time.  We even made charts for my wife and me to work on. 

The beauty of this system has been that we can customize the responsibilities to the level of the person.  “Work an hour on the basement” isn’t going to be a very good goal for a child, but gives me some incentive to finish it, incrementally.

At work, I’ve been trying it with some success, but has been more of a challenge, due to the ever fluctuating environment of IT.